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half a year on saturn

My son Felix was born 15 years ago today. I woke up thinking about how long a period of time “Quince años” was. It was undoubtedly lengthy for him, his entire life, but it wasn’t the same for me. From the astrological perspective, it was just half a year on Saturn. And yet so many life events happened in the past 5478 earth days of my life. And I feel today as I probably did when I was 15 myself: insanely curious, overly optimistic, and profoundly lost. It is impressive how, despite all the life knowledge and experience I have gained, I seem to be doing the equal inner work again, following the same simple desires. And I re-learn the old insights, but with new feelings, new sensations, and new judgments. I fell in love as if I were fifteen again. I remember that I had been there before. Walking these streets, looking in these windows, wondering “why, and what,” and dreaming perse world.

— Pacific Heights, San Francisco