not therapy

She sat across from me, composed — practiced, even. “I’ve already worked on this in therapy”, she said. The story followed: neat, symmetrical, punctuated with insight. A narrative built like a shield.

I didn’t nod. Instead, I asked, “What part of that still feels good to believe?”

She blinked. Not because it hurt — but because it caught her off-script.

That’s the thing: coaching doesn’t soothe. It interrupts. It’s not about healing what happened. It’s about unhooking from the part of you that still finds safety in it.

Therapy traces patterns. Coaching breaks them. Therapy holds space. Coaching names the edge. Therapy wants safety. Coaching bets on movement.

We don’t sit together to agree on your pain. We sit to challenge the logic that says staying small is honest, overpreparing is necessary, or self-sacrifice is noble.

The moment of change is never grand. It’s subtle. It’s when the rehearsed line suddenly tastes like chalk. When “I’m trying” starts to sound like an excuse for delay.

Coaching doesn’t ask Why are you like this? It asks What are you choosing now?

When there’s no immediate answer, I stay with you in the silence.

You won’t always like the work. You’ll want to go back to explanation. To empathy, to insight, to the listening that says, Yes, that makes sense.

But the edge is here. Not in your history, but in your next word. Not in your feelings, but in what you do with them.

Most won’t step over it. That’s not judgment. It’s odds.

The rest will keep reading articles about change instead of changing. Keep planning the conversation instead of having it. Keep choosing tomorrow over today.

But you read this far for a reason. And that reason is ready.

linked mentions for "Coaching is Not Therapy — and That’s a Good Thing":

1. Prickly Oxheart 
   Unpack old baggage, overcome fear, reclaim autonomy, and create real change. Prickly Oxheart merges coaching and the art of psychology, enabling authentic transformation and self-leadership.