idealizations of growth family and relationship

• the ideal of growth makes us feel stunted; the ideal family makes us feel crazy … We have these idealizations that make us feel crazy, even though we don’t see any of these ideals in life. I feel crazy that I can’t be in one relationship all my life, even though I look around and where do I see anybody in one relationship all their lives? … Yet we keep measuring ourselves against these ideals.

“They don’t love you but they don’t let you get away. Sounds a little like family.”

• fantasy of growth in therapy
• growth project of therapy
• self-sufficient villages not families
• work at personal relationship and love