California
Travelling in LatAm, I read a few books about ‘American spirituality’ mentioning “Esalen Institute.” I was in Austin, Texas, for “SXSW 2016,” and decided to fly to California to meet with Chris Price, one of the founders of the institute and Dick Price’s wife. Christine and Richard are responsible for “Gestalt Practice” - a method that they have developed at large part upon the work of their teacher - Fritz Perls. And Pearls is the very psychotherapist to coin the term ‘Gestalt therapy.’ I moved to Southern California to study somatic practices, choosing a bit of a hip pad - the Venice Beach. During my first year at the beach, I visited lectures at UCLA and LMU. I met Jack Kornfield, Christopher Chapple, Trudy Goodman, and other devoted meditators, teachers, and theology scholars. I swear I heard a familiar voice or two when I watched The Midnight Gospel on Netflix.
Forgiveness
At the top of that first year in CA, my wife got bored with me. I was no longer a venture capitalist or doing anything tangible in the marketplace. I quit the firm soon after that ‘aya trip,’ and we lived on the modest savings from the “good ol days.” Sometimes I think I should have never chosen LA. But then, I would have probably never gotten rid of the most significant confusion of that time. Even though everything happened suddenly, painfully, and at the cost of losing a working connection with my little son, I am grateful to the “capital of failed expectations” for that option. I wouldn’t claim that I have always been of a good character and never hurt anyone and caused them pain. Some former friends and lovers out there may still feel betrayed or abused by me. I certainly did many wrongs by my now ex-wife. But I never stopped loving her and my son. Which seems to be a popular excuse…
The greatest hell one can know is to be betrayed by the one he trusts. To be secluded into the void of reason. Into absolute aloneness, nobody deserves that! Even a prisoner is locked up in a cage with a cellmate. It was hard for me to accept the punishment that didn’t fit the crime.